Just had a first date? Got all dressed up and had a great night? Not sure what to text now? Been staring at your phone in confusion and despair for three hours? On the verge of tears? We’re here to help, with all the tips and advice you need for what to text after a first date.
We’ve addressed what to text after both unsuccessful and successful first dates, and included some pro-tips along with great example texts to get you started.
What to Text After an Unsuccessful First Date
If you’ve had an unsuccessful first date, you obviously don’t want to go on a second date. If that’s the case, just let the person down gently. Send them a message which says something like, “I had a nice time, but I don’t think we should see each other again.” If they ask why you don’t want to see them again, just be honest.
If you don’t want to go on a second date, there’s really no obligation to go on a second date, so just reject them over text in a kind way.
What to Text After a Successful First Date – Pro-Tips
Now we’ve moved onto the more pleasant stuff – hopefully you had a great first date, wore a fun outfit, and got to know someone you clicked with. Luckily for you, texting after a first date isn’t the nerve-wracking ordeal you might assume it is, but here are some tips if you’re unsure…
Later in this guide, we’ve assembled some example texts you can send after a first date, but for now, here are some pro-tips to help you compose your own.
Tip #1: It’s Just a Text
Do you panic about every text you send? Do you shake uncontrollably when you text your mum about a dog you just saw in the street? Do you frantically jump on Google when you’re texting your friend to meet them in a coffee shop? No, you don’t – and you shouldn’t be fretting about this either.
You know your date a little, you know yourself a lot, and you know how to use a phone. Want to see your date again? Tell them. Had a good time? Tell them. Saw something funny and thought of your date? Tell them.
Tip #2: Make a Suggestion
You want to see this person again, so suggest how you should see them again. Did you talk a lot about music on your date? Suggest going to a concert. Did you talk a lot about movies? Suggest the cinema. Did they mention the opening of a new art gallery? Mention visiting that art gallery.
Whatever you talked about on your date, suggest a second date related to one of those things.
Tip #3: Say You Had a Good Time
This one is pretty obvious and fundamental, but lots of people forget it. If you tell your date you had a good time, they’ll know you had a good time, and they’ll be more interested in wanting to see you again.
You don’t have to be gushing or excessively complimentary, but you can say you enjoyed yourself.
Tip #4: Get the Timing Right
An hour or so after the date, don’t be shy about texting them to say that you had a good time. You can then text them again a couple of days later for your second text. This timeline communicates your eagerness without being too pushy or keen.
That said, don’t worry too much about this stuff – do mainly what feels right for you.
Tip #5: Don’t Worry About Gender Roles and Who Does What
It’s not the man’s job or the woman’s job to text first. It’s not the man’s job or the woman’s job to suggest a second date. Don’t worry about expected roles, because they’re just made up. Follow your instincts, not some arbitrary rules about your gender or whatever.
Tip #6: Be Perceptive
Pay attention to that the other person is doing and saying. If they’re ignoring you, that’s not a good sign, so you shouldn’t doggedly pursue them. On the flipside of that, if they’re way more keen than you, perhaps be clear on your expectations, so that you don’t disappoint them.
Tip #7: Keep Things Light and Short
You’re not married. You don’t have kids together. You’re not going through a divorce. Keep things light, short, gentle and playful. Don’t text too frequently, don’t send huge essays, and don’t text way more often than the other person.
Tip #8: Don’t Worry About All the Stupid Society Stuff
Our final tip is the most important tip of all – don’t worry about what other people are recommending (even us). Do what feels right for you.
Your friends might tell you to wait 48 hours before you send any text at all. Others might tell you to wait a week. Some might say you shouldn’t send the first text. Mainly, you should do what feels right for you.
The above guidelines are good guidelines, but what’s more important are your feelings, your situations and your texts. Again, to reiterate our first point, this is only a text message. It really isn’t a big deal.
What to Text After a Successful First Date – Example Texts
If you know what tone you want to use in your texts, but don’t know how to convey that tone, here’s some help for you. Feel free to use these as templates, or adapt them as you wish, or even totally ignore them. But here are some suggestions….
The Immediate Text
If you want to send a text immediately after your date, lead in with a compliment, a thanks and a quick question. Try something like, “Hey, I had a great time tonight – you’re really funny! Did you get home okay?”
With this text, you’re prompting a reply, and you’re communicating your eagerness without seeming too keen.
The Polite Text
If you’re a polite, reserved person, and so too was your date, you might want to follow up with a polite reply. “Thank you for such a beautiful night. You were really charming and fun, and I’d love to see you again. Maybe we could go to that art gallery we talked about?”
The Charming Text
If you want to charm the person you dated, try something such as, “You’re so funny and cute, and I can’t wait to see that face again. Hit me up for an even better second date.”
The Complimentary Text
If your date did something that particularly impressed you, mention it in a text. They’ll know you liked it, they’ll know you’re eager, and it’s a good way to start a conversation.
“Hey, I loved it when you quoted that poem last night – I love a man with brains. Maybe we could go to a poetry event one day soon? It would be good to see you again!”
The ‘Hard to Get’ Text
We don’t necessarily recommend playing hard to get, because what’s the point? But if you do want to play hard to get, do it gently.
Try something such as, “I had a great night last night, hope you did too! I’m really busy with work over the next few days, but maybe we could do something in a couple of weeks or something?”
The Flirty Text
If there was a lot of flirting going on and you want it to continue, try something like “Had an amazing night tonight. I couldn’t stop looking at your eyes, and now I can’t stop thinking about your body.”
The Jokey Text
Let’s say your date was brimming with jokes and playful teasing, and you laughed all night. You might want to follow up with something such as, “Hey you, thanks for an awful first date. 😉 I’m up for doing it again. You in?”
The Casual Text
If you want to see your date again but really don’t want to seem pushy, you could always be very clear that there’s no obligation for them to see you again.
If that’s your plan, try something like, “Last night was great, I had a lot of fun! I’d be up for meeting up again if you’d like to, but no pressure either way.”
No matter what type of text you want to send, remember to be yourself, have fun, and try to relax.
… And Hit Send!
There it is – everything we know about what to text after a first date. You now know what to say, how to say it, and you’re armed with plenty of examples to work from. Pick your phone up, send that text, and look forward to what’s to come.
But again, the most important thing is this – don’t sweat it too much. It’s just a text. If they like you and you like them, you can’t really get this wrong. Happy dating!