Don’t have a boyfriend? If you’re feeling like everyone you know has a boyfriend but you, you’re probably feeling confused, sad or alone. In this article, we’ve unpacked the things you can do to bag yourself a boyfriend, and the things that might be going wrong in your pursuit of nabbing a hunk.
Lots of people make some pretty fundamental mistakes in their search for a boyfriend, so we’re here to help you put them right. Here are some reasons you might not have a boyfriend.
- 13 Possible Reasons You Don’t Have a Boyfriend:
- #1: You’re Worrying About It Too Much
- #2: You’re Being Too Needy
- #3: You’re Being Too Picky
- #4: You’re Not Casting a Wide Enough Net
- #5: You’re Not Very Good At Communicating or Flirting
- #6: You’re High Maintenance and Difficult to Deal With
- #7: You’re Hung up on an Old Flame
- #8: You Haven’t Spoken to Your Friends
- #9: You’re Too Shy
- #10: You Have Low Self-Esteem
- #11: You’re Pursuing the Wrong People
- #12: You’re Not Taking Care of Yourself
- #13: You’re Worrying About It Too Much
- The (Boyfri)End
13 Possible Reasons You Don’t Have a Boyfriend:
If you don’t have a boyfriend, it’s very likely that you’re making at least 1 of these 13 potential mistakes.
#1: You’re Worrying About It Too Much
Okay, we know this is important to you. It’s important to a lot of people.
But there are way more important things in life than having a boyfriend. I know you might not feel like it, but lots of women don’t have boyfriends – around 3 in 10 adults in the USA are single, so you’re absolutely not the only one. Some women don’t have a boyfriend for many years before suddenly falling in love out of nowhere, and the same thing might happen to you.
And guess what – even the people you know with boyfriends might not necessarily be totally happy.
If you’re putting too much pressure on yourself and your potential partners, you’re probably scaring everyone involved (including yourself!).
Think about why you want a boyfriend. Is it for the company? You can get company from your friends. Is it for the validation? You’ll only ever feel validated if you learn to love yourself. Is it because you feel alone? Perhaps address your feelings of loneliness in another way, by joining a class or a club.
It’s totally okay to want a boyfriend – but if you think about the reasons why you want a boyfriend, you might feel better about not having one, and you might stumble upon an alternative solution that’ll make you equally happy.
And if you stop worrying about not having a partner, you’ll stop seeming so needy, which will probably stand you a better chance of bagging a boyfriend. Which leads us to…
#2: You’re Being Too Needy
People don’t like needy people.
If you seem pushy or desperate, or constantly available, potential boyfriends might feel you just want anyone rather than specifically wanting them – or they might feel that you’re just using them as a tool to feel better about yourself.
Take a deep breath, compose yourself and relax – if you’re calmer around potential boyfriends, they’ll probably be more attracted to you. You don’t need anyone, so stop behaving like you do.
#3: You’re Being Too Picky
The opposite of the above. Maybe no one is good enough for you. Maybe you won’t date someone because he has weird earlobes. Or because he chews too loudly. Or because he has the same name as your second cousin.
If you’re being ridiculously picky and you’re always dismissing potential partners, it’s no surprise that you don’t have a boyfriend.
#4: You’re Not Casting a Wide Enough Net
Where are you looking? Are you using dating apps? Are you using ALL of the dating apps? Are you going to bars? Have you tried speed dating? Are you approachable in day-to-day life? If you aren’t exploring various options for finding a boyfriend, you’ll probably struggle to find one.
We’ve all heard nightmare stories about dating apps, but most dating actually takes place online now, so it’s a good idea to get on as many apps as you can.
#5: You’re Not Very Good At Communicating or Flirting
Communication is important. Verbal and non-verbal communication are both essential parts of building relationships, whether those relationships are family ones, friendships or romantic. Make sure you’re actively concentrating on how you communicate – you could maybe even speak to your friends to see if they have any tips bespoke to you.
Flirting is also an important part of communication (well, when you’re looking for a boyfriend. It’s not so important when you’re talking to your grandpa). Here are some great tips on how to do it.
#6: You’re High Maintenance and Difficult to Deal With
High maintenance people are hard work. Are you terrible at compromising? Do you throw a fit if you can’t eat at your favorite restaurant? Do you cry if someone else’s alarm clock wakes you up 3 minutes before you want to get out of bed?
Try to be a little more easy-going, and you’ll have a better chance of nabbing a boyfriend.
#7: You’re Hung up on an Old Flame
Are you over your most recent ex-boyfriend? If not, you might not currently be your best you. And if you’re not your best you, maybe you seem shy, unhappy or unapproachable.
If you’re not over your ex-boyfriend, maybe your heart really isn’t into finding a new one.
#8: You Haven’t Spoken to Your Friends
Your friends might have some tips and advice. They might know someone who likes you. They might invite you speed dating. They might have a colleague who they think you’ll like. Your friends might know where you’re going wrong. They might have some fashion tips. They might know a trendy new bar where you can pick up a hunk.
If you’re not speaking to your friends, you’re missing out on lots of opportunities and potential solutions.
#9: You’re Too Shy
Lots of people are shy. And it’s a hard thing to hear, but shyness can sometimes be a huge barrier. If you’re shy, you’re hard to talk to – and if you’re hard to talk to, you’re maybe hard to date. Sometimes, shyness is actually misinterpreted as aloofness or rudeness.
But the good news is, it’s easy to become less shy – or at least pretend that you’re less shy. Concentrate on having open body language, making good eye contact, smiling a lot and being open and approachable.
Consider going to some night classes, going on lots of dates, or chatting to strangers in supermarkets and other situations. Once you get into the habit of being less shy, you’ll find it much easier to talk to other people – and that includes potential boyfriends.
#10: You Have Low Self-Esteem
Maybe you don’t think you deserve a boyfriend. But you do.
If you’re behaving like you don’t deserve a boyfriend, you’re sending subconscious signals that you don’t deserve a boyfriend. Maybe you always say negative things about yourself. Maybe you struggle to communicate with people. Maybe you tell others about all the bad traits you have.
Work on your low self-esteem, and you’ll have a better chance of nabbing a boyfriend.
#11: You’re Pursuing the Wrong People
If you’re a gamer girl and you’re trying to pursue a football player, you’re probably running into problems. If you’re a 6-foot tall 30-year-old basketball player and you’re trying to date a chess-playing 19-year-old, you’re probably running into problems.
Think about the type of people you’re compatible with, and try to find those people. You might find them at classes, in clubs, or in certain hangouts – but if you know the type of person you’re trying to find, it becomes much easier to find them.
#12: You’re Not Taking Care of Yourself
Are you taking care of yourself? Are you eating well? Sleeping well? Is your skin looking good? Your hair? Are you happy with your appearance? Are you showering every day?
No one is inherently unattractive, but if you make sure you’re taking care of yourself, and you’re proud of how you look, you’ll stand a better chance of getting a boyfriend.
If you can make sure you’re taking care of yourself and feeling confident, there’s more chance of you getting a boyfriend.
#13: You’re Worrying About It Too Much
Yeah, we know; we’ve already used this one. But it’s worth repeating.
Having a boyfriend is not life’s ultimate achievement. Don’t sweat it; this really isn’t as important as you’re worried it is.
Everything will work itself out. You deserve a boyfriend, and one day you’ll get a boyfriend. Follow all the tips, advice and pointers above, but more importantly than that, just enjoy your life – and trust your journey will take you to all the right places.
Sorry about that terrible pun.
Anyway, hopefully you’ve now worked out some of the reasons why you don’t have a boyfriend. Maybe you’re too shy, maybe you’re too needy, or maybe you just aren’t ready yet.
But whatever the reason, the above advice should help you out in your quest of bagging a man. Happy dating!