You and your boyfriend have been together a while. You know you love him, but you don’t know if he loves you. The problem is, you want to tell your boyfriend you love him, but you don’t know how to do it, when to do it or how he’ll respond.
It’s natural to be scared and nervous. You want him to know how you feel but you’re terrified he’ll reject you or laugh. Or maybe you’ll scare him away.
But don’t worry—billions of people have been through this before you, and it’s nowhere near as scary as your brain is telling you it is. Don’t listen to those fears, and listen to us instead, because we’re here to help.
In this article, we’ve given you a useful step-by-step guide to telling your boyfriend you love him. We’ve also included lots of helpful tips and pointers, along with plenty of kooky and creative ideas for people who just can’t get the words out. Want to tell your boyfriend you love him? Here’s how…
How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him—Our Step-By-Step Guide
If you’re ready to make the big leap but you’re not sure how, here’s our simple step-by-step guide to telling your boyfriend you love him.
Step 1: Make Sure You Really Mean It
Okay, this one’s pretty obvious, but lots of people don’t even stop to think about it.
Make sure you really love your boyfriend before you tell him you love him. If you tell him, then quickly realize you don’t actually love him, you’re putting both of you in an awkward spot. Have you been together long enough to know that you definitely love him? Do you see enough of each other to be 100% sure?
Make sure you’re not just in love with the idea of being in love. You might ‘love’ being in a relationship. You might ‘love’ having someone to spoon you to sleep. You might ‘love’ having someone who introduces you to good music. But do you actually love the person you’re in a relationship with?
You should also think about whether your boyfriend is a person you want to love. Is he good for you? Is he a nice person? Does he make you feel good about yourself? Do you trust him? Trust your instincts.
Step 2: Choose the Right Time and Place
Okay, you’ve decided you definitely love your boyfriend, and you’ve decided he’s definitely the right person for you. You’re set on telling him you love him, and now it’s just about when and how.
Make sure you choose the right time. If your boyfriend is in a hurry, or if he’s just had some bad news, or if you’ve just had an argument—none of that is the right time. Choose a time when you’re both happy, relaxed, and unhurried, so you can both enjoy and indulge in the moment.
Place is less important than time, but you might want to choose a good location if you’re trying to create a special moment. If you do, choose a beautiful outdoor area, or one of his favorite places, or even just your bedroom. Don’t do it on a public bus, or while he’s using the phone, for example.
Step 3: Say It Properly
Tell your boyfriend you have something to tell him, and that it’s important to you. Look him in the eye, making and keeping genuine eye contact, then say the words clearly and properly. It’s only three words, so don’t overcomplicate things. Say “I love you,” and say it with confidence and pride. If you like, you can also hold his hands as you say it.
Step 4: Let Him Respond
Your instinct will be to keep talking. You’ll try to fill the space with words, as you nervously anticipate his response. But if you keep talking, you’ll never get his response.
Instead, take a deep breath, let the silence sit, and wait for him to say something back. You’ve done the difficult part, now let him process his thoughts and respond openly and honestly. Chances are, his response will be happy and positive. Job done!
Pro-Tips for Telling Your Boyfriend You Love Him
- Don’t be scared. He probably loves you too. And even if he doesn’t, there’s only one way to find out. Vulnerability isn’t scary; it’s exciting. Here are some confidence-boosting stories of others who’ve been in the same situation.
- Speak to your friends. Maybe they have some advice, tips, or relevant experiences. Maybe they even have advice specific to you and your situation.
- Speak to your parents. Older people are always wiser, calmer, and more composed. There’s no question your parents have been through this before, and they know you better than anyone.
- Try not to do it over a text message. If you’re really nervous, it’s an okay option, but it’s much better to do it in-person instead. Not everything has to be done over a cellphone or announced on Instagram.
- Love is different for everyone. Listen to your heart. We know that’s a big fat cliché, but what you think is more important than what other people think, and more important than what we’ve told you (even though we’re romantic geniuses).
- If your boyfriend doesn’t feel the same way, don’t panic. Maybe he will in time. And if he doesn’t, you’re better off with someone else anyway. If your boyfriend doesn’t love you, he’s probably not the right person for you. But that’s okay.
Subtle and Creative Ways to Tell Your Boyfriend You Love Him
If you’re still terrified of uttering the words “I love you,” you could instead try dropping some hints, doing something unique, or communicating the message in a creative and unusual way. Some of our favorite ideas include:
Don’t Say It
If you’re too scared to say the actual words, there are lots of other ways to communicate what you really mean. And some of them are even more romantic and special than just saying it anyway!
- Maybe you could write your boyfriend a silly love song and sing it to him.
- Write him a romantic note and leave it folded inside the book he’s reading.
- You could learn the words to his favorite romantic song and sing it to him.
- Write the words “I love you” on a steamy mirror before guiding him to it.
- If you’re good in the kitchen, bake him a cake and ice the words onto the cake.
- Get the words written on a balloon.
- Send a card to his workplace or his house.
- You could make a scavenger hunt where he has to find the separate words for himself.
- Blindfold him and lead him to a whiteboard where you’ve written the words.
Say It Subtly
If you want to get the message across verbally but you’re scared of uttering the actual words “I love you,” you could try saying some other things instead.
Phrases such as “you’re the most important thing in my life,” “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before”, and “you’re the best thing in my life” communicate the message pretty well without communicating it too well.
Plan It Around a Day
You could plan a special day for your boyfriend, involving some of his favorite foods, activities, hobbies, places, movies, music and more. If he asks you why you’ve done this, tell him it’s because you love him.
This approach takes the pressure off you a little, as you won’t have to choose a perfect moment to say the words. Instead, your boyfriend will ask why you’re treating him so well—so instead of you choosing the moment, the moment will instead be sprung upon you!
If you make a special day out of your special moment, you’ll both remember it forever.
Final Words
Hopefully, you’re now ready to tell your boyfriend you love him.
It’s a scary prospect, but almost every person on this planet falls in love at some point in their life so almost everyone has to nervously blurt out the words “I love you.” This is all very natural and normal (even though it might not feel like it), so it’s really nothing to worry about.
As an off-brand Nike knockoff would tell you, “Just say it!”