You’re young, you’re nervous, and you don’t know how to tell your parents you have a boyfriend. But that’s okay—billions of people before you have been in this position before, so it’s really nothing to worry about. It’s absolutely no big deal.
Remember—your parents themselves have probably been in this position when they were the same age as you. And when you have kids of your own, they’ll one day tell you that they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. There’s nothing to be nervous about.
There are lots of ways to tell your parents you have a boyfriend. In this article, we’ve brought you all the best ways to do it, along with some helpful hints and hacks.
- 5 Ways to Tell Your Parents You Have a Boyfriend
- Pro Tips for Telling Your Parents You Have a Boyfriend
- Things Your Parents Might Want to Know About Your Boyfriend
- How to Tell Your Parents You Have a Boyfriend—What Not to Do
- Cultural and Social Barriers to Telling Your Parents You Have a Boyfriend
- Final Words
5 Ways to Tell Your Parents You Have a Boyfriend
To start things off, here are 5 different methods for telling your parents about your boyfriend. Choose the one that makes you feel the most comfortable.
#1 – Sit Them Down
The simplest way, the most common way and, in our opinion, the best way.
Sit your parents down and tell them you have a boyfriend. Choose a time when they’re relaxed and in a good mood.
Lots of people have sat their parents down for much worse reasons than this, so your parents might even be relieved about what you need to tell them! At least you’re not telling them that you’ve decided to move to a different country.
It’s easy. “I have a boyfriend” is just a short few words, and it’s all you really need to say. If your parents have any questions or want to know more, let them lead the way—don’t feel like you need to prepare everything in advance.
That said, if you’re particularly nervous, you could write up a little script in your head, so you know exactly what to say and how to say it. You could practice with a friend or in front of a mirror. You could even try telling a sibling first, as that will be less scary, but it’ll be good practice. And their positive reaction will make you realize that there’s really nothing to worry about.
#2 – Tell Your Parents Separately
If speaking to both of your parents at the same time is a nerve-wracking idea, you could tell them separately. This way, you can speak to them both in a way that makes you feel comfortable.
Perhaps one of your parents prefers lots of talking, and one prefers only a little talking. Perhaps one wants to know a lot about your boyfriend and one doesn’t. If your parents react or behave in different ways, telling them separately is a great way to make things easier for all of you.
#3 – Write Your Parents a Letter
If you’re particularly nervous, writing a letter to your parents can be a good option. It means that you don’t have to fuss or fret over choosing your words carefully during a chat, as you can literally write your words down.
Keep your letter short and to the point, remind your parents that you love them, and remind them that your boyfriend is making you happy.
It will allow your parents to think about how they want to react, rather than having to react in the moment (even though the reaction will almost definitely be positive!).
You can hand them the letter, slide it under their bedroom door or leave it somewhere in your house for them to find.
#4 – Introduce Your Boyfriend in Person
This is a confident, bold move, but it might make you all feel more comfortable in the long run. If you introduce your parents to your boyfriend in person, they’ll get to see what you like about him, and they’ll see for themselves that he’s a nice, polite person who is good for you.
#5 – Drop Hints
If none of the above feel like good options, you could just drop hints instead. It’s not the bravest way to share the news, but it’s certainly better than nothing.
You could mention your boyfriend’s name in conversation, ask your parents questions about when they got together, or even just insinuate that you might have been on dates with someone. If your parents have already met your boyfriend because he used to be your friend, you could drop hints about him by name.
If your parents get the hint, they’ll start asking questions, which will save you from the fuss of having to plan and prepare what to say and how to say it.
Pro Tips for Telling Your Parents You Have a Boyfriend
No matter how you tell your parents you have a boyfriend, here are some tips that will help.
- Focus on the positives. This is going to be okay. Your parents are probably going to be fine with it. You probably have nothing to worry about.
- Remember why you like your boyfriend. If you like your boyfriend, your parents probably will too. If your boyfriend is making you happy, your parents will probably be happy too.
- Have realistic expectations. Your parents might be surprised or shocked, but they’re not likely to reactnegatively. Don’t be surprised if your parents are surprised.
- Use social media to your advantage. If you can show your parents your boyfriend’s social media profile, they’ll probably be comforted. Show them his pictures, his posts and his other details, and they’ll see he’s just a nice person!
- Talk about it first with your boyfriend. He’ll probably be okay with it. And if he’s okay with it, you should be too!
Things Your Parents Might Want to Know About Your Boyfriend
When you tell your parents about your boyfriend, they will probably have some questions. Here are some things they might want to know:
- How long you guys have been together
- How old he is
- What he does. Does he have a job? Where does he work? Does he go to school? Which school does he go to?
- Where he’s from
- How you met
- If they might already know him. Maybe he’s been your friend for a long while before he became your boyfriend
See, these are all the same types of questions your friends will want to know. Nothing scary there! Most of all, your parents will want to know all about your boyfriend and why you like him. They’ll likely be happy that your boyfriend is making their child happy. But be warned—they’ll probably also want to meet him!
How to Tell Your Parents You Have a Boyfriend—What Not to Do
When you tell your parents about your boyfriend, there are also a few things you should avoid doing.
- Don’t lie. There’s no need to. If you’re proud of your relationship, there’s no need to lie about anything. You’ll just get caught anyway! If your boyfriend is the type of person you need to lie about, think carefully about whether he should actually be your boyfriend.
- Don’t argue. However your parents react, respect it, and answer their questions mindfully and properly.
- Don’t worry. Realistically, what is there to worry about? Sit down and make a list of your worries, and you’ll probably realize that all of them are pretty minor, or not even real worries at all.
For most people, all of the above will work.
But maybe things are a little different for you. Maybe your parents are very religious, and they might not approve of you having a boyfriend. Maybe you’re gay, and you haven’t told your parents yet. Maybe you live in a place where people will judge you for having a boyfriend, and you’re worried your parents will judge you too. Maybe there are social and cultural issues depending on who you and your boyfriend are.
In all of these situations, things can be a little complicated. But that’s still okay, and your parents still love you and want the best for you.
In these situations, it’s harder to give general advice, because everyone’s personal circumstances are different. In this case, talk to someone who knows you and your situation very well. That might be a friend, a sibling, another relative, a teacher, a religious figure, or anyone else whose advice you trust.
Remember that your parents love you. It doesn’t matter how traditional they are, what religion you guys follow, or how serious they might be. If you are happy, your parents will very likely be happy for you. Don’t overthink this.
Having a boyfriend is normal, and you and your parents all know it. This is just one of those strange things that’s scary to talk about when you’re young, but gets easier with age. Moments after you’ve told your parents that you have a boyfriend, you’ll wonder what you were ever nervous about!
Ultimately, do what you know is right. You know your boyfriend, and you know your parents, so you know in your heart the best way to tell your parents that you have a boyfriend.