So you got the hard part down and managed to nab that cute barista’s number–now what? If you’re suffering from stage fright after playing it ultra-cool, don’t worry. Breaking the ice with a perfect stranger can be pretty intimidating, but not so much when you know exactly what to say.
Whoever said love was a game wasn’t too far off; those early interactions with someone you’re into require playfulness as much as they do strategy. This seems to be where a lot of earnest and well-meaning men (and women, for that matter!) beef it, though.
Too many of them think that laying all their cards on the table at the outset will clear the path to their next happy relationship.
The reality is often much different.
Women love to be pursued, sure, but they’re up for a challenge much more than traditional gender stereotyping would have you think. If you can find a way to toe the line between mysterious and attentive, then the chances of landing a date with your lady in question will be much higher.
All you have to do, then, is figure out how to start off on the right digital foot.
Before we dive in, let’s talk about some basic ground rules for texting a girl you just met.
Tips for Texting a Girl for the First Time
No matter which approach you decide to go with, it’s important to include this information in your texts out of common courtesy:
- Address her by her name
- Share your name and where you two met again to ensure her that you’re not some random person
- Mention that it was nice to meet her
How you choose to approach the rest is entirely up to you. Depending on your personality, you may find some of our texting templates more fitting than others.
However, you’ll definitely get brownie points by adding these few introductory lines at the outset. After all, you’re both pretty far from the sweatpants-and-potato-chips phase of your relationship, so you’ll have to put your best foot forward for quite some time yet.
And with that being said, let’s take a look at some man-tested, woman-approved texts you can shoot over to the senorita you’ve got your eye on.
3 Texting Approaches for Hitting up That Cutie You Just Met
Depending on how you met this girl and what her personality is like, you’ll want to use a specific approach.
Balancing creativity and authenticity while finding a meaningful connection point all at the same time can be a bit tricky, so let’s take a look at some different angles this initial text can come from.
1. Mr. Curious: The Little Things Go a Long Way
Sometimes, forgetfulness can work to your advantage–especially when it comes to looking for reasons to text your crush.
If you want to strike up a conversation with a new acquaintance, asking them a question about something from your initial meeting can be a great and natural way to get the ball rolling again.
For example, if you met her at the gym you both go to and noticed she was doing a certain exercise, ask her about it. Observe:
“Hey, X, it’s Y from the gym. It was great meeting you the other day. I was just curious–what were the exercises in that leg circuit you were doing? It looked pretty challenging, and I want to give it a shot myself.”
This works. Why?
For starters, you’re opening a conversation about something you’re both interested in; in this case, it’s fitness. Secondly, the explanation for why you want to know is logical. This isn’t information that’s readily Googleable, so the text won’t look like an obvious attempt to start a conversation.
It also signals to the lady that she made an impression on you, since you remembered something as trivial her workout regimen. Ladies love it when a man remembers the little details, and this will boost your chances of making a great impression on her.
We also love a little humility in a man, and even more so at the gym. By revealing vulnerability in an arena typically reserved for manly men, you’re more likely to disarm her and gain a bit of her trust as well.
But let’s say you’re more brainy than brawny; in that case, we suggest you recommend something or somewhere that you think she might like. Learn more about how to do this in our next texting approach.
2. Mr. In-The-Know: Suggest Something She May Like
Here, you’ll also use the little details you’ve learned about this girl when crafting your message to her. If you two met at a bar, you can suggest to her another bar or restaurant nearby that you think she might also like.
If you’re feeling super confident, then you can slide a smooth invitation to go there with her as well.
That’s the key here, though: smoothness. Because us women are pretty darn good at picking up subtle verbal cues, they appreciate when a man can make his intentions clear in an artfully understated way. Observe:
“Hey X, it’s Y from the coffee shop the other day. I remember you mentioning how much you liked flat whites, so I figured you gotta know how awesome (another cool, hip coffee shop)’s are. It’s just a block from (the cool, hip coffee shop where you met), and I can send you the address if you’re interested. Hope you’re having a good day.”
Let’s break down how this text opens up a few different opportunities to engage further.
First, you earn points by recalling a minor, seemingly offhand detail she mentioned. Like we talked about earlier, women love it when you remember the small stuff.
Next, you’re using that small tidbit to clue her into something that would be valuable to her; here, it’s another coffee shop that’s known for the drink she likes. Even if she chooses not to hit you back, she’ll walk away from the conversation having learned something useful at no cost to her.
What’s really key here, though, is the offer to send her the address of the other coffee shop. This gives her some autonomy in the exchange; she can decide to ask for the address (and therefore continue to interact with you more) herself, instead of having to field a barrage of information she didn’t request. Giving her options will put her at ease and potentially inspire her curiosity, which is always good when trying to generate an air of mystique.
Plus, an enthusiastic response on her end is an obvious green light to ask her out to said cool, hip coffee shop, making this an approach with multiple opportunities for success.
3. Mr. Go For Broke: When Boldness Goes Right
We’d like to preface our final approach by saying that it’ll take a little finesse and a whole lot of confidence to execute it successfully. It can very easily go one of two ways: underwhelming or overboard–so proceed with caution.
However, if you manage to create that ideal vibe of forward yet refined, then you’ll likely knock this one out of the park. It’s a fully transparent, no-punches-pulled approach that’ll work with like-minded ladies who are looking for a man with serious game. Observe:
“Hey X, it’s Y from the park last week. Look, I know this is probably a bit strange considering we’ve only met once, but I’d really like to see you again and get to know you more. Not sure if you’re a mojito fan but I know a place that makes ‘em great for cheap. Let me know if you’d like to meet me there for another great conversation. Have a great rest of your day.”
Talk about brave! You’re laying it all out there in a transparent way without bowling her over; by addressing the potential awkwardness of the situation right out of the gate, you let her know that you’re also quite aware that what you’re doing is pretty forward.
Next, you create a bit of authority by letting her know that you have somewhere in mind you’d like to take her. Lots of ladies out there love a man who can take the lead and bring a cool date idea to life.
However, you deftly balance this authority by quickly pivoting to a position where the ball’s in her court: “Let me know if you’d like to meet me there for a conversation.” The one-two punch of authority and autonomy is enticing and engaging–so much that we bet your lady in question will respond with a resounding, “YES!”
A Final Word on Texting That New Girl
You don’t have to reinvent the wheel to get a girl’s attention–you just have to grease it a bit to make sure everything’s smoooooth.
We feel pretty confident about these texting approaches’ smoothness, too, and we look forward to the successes you’ll have using them. As always, thanks for reading, and best of luck in your romantic endeavors!