The perfect balance of giving and taking is part of what makes a relationship successful. If you find yourself on the receiving side way too often, it might be time to show your partner your appreciation—usually by pampering him as much as you can.
However, it isn’t exactly easy to figure out how to spoil your man. Sure, you can do what he does for you, but it might not be as fulfilling for him. You won’t always have the same preferences, after all. But don’t fret—here’s how you can indulge your man to the fullest.
Learning the Language of Love
We all want to be appreciated, but not in the same way as everyone else. That’s why we have what we call love languages. If you want to learn how to spoil your man, you’ll have to learn his love language.
While he’ll most likely appreciate anything that you do for him, pampering him through his love language makes this experience more enjoyable and memorable. If you don’t have the slightest idea about what love languages are, then here’s a summary for you. The five primary love languages are words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time. You’ll have to find out which among the five is the most important to him.
If you want to cut to the chase, you can always ask him what his love language is. Don’t worry if he doesn’t know what it is—you and him can figure it out together with a bit of trial and error.
Once you’ve learned his love language, it’ll be easy for you to figure out which of the tips below will work best for you and him.
Starting the Day on a Good Note
The sweetest surprises can sometimes come in the smallest forms—like notes. It doesn’t require much effort, but it can express affection in the most endearing way possible if done right.
Your notes can be as long or short as you want them to be, so don’t feel pressured to wax poetic on paper. The best thing about it, though, is that you can put your notes anywhere and everywhere. You can stick one on the bathroom mirror, tuck one in your partner’s work bag, or put one on his shoe. Just imagine the smile on his face every time he finds one of your little notes.
Explore His Hobbies
Unless you’re two peas in a pod, you and your significant other won’t always have the same interests. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t try some of his hobbies out. If he enjoys playing sports, schedule a day when you can play a game with him. You won’t get the hang of it right away, but it’ll surely bring a few laughs.
Or, if he likes to go fishing, ask him to take you fishing. If hiking is what he enjoys, then go for a hike together. He likes DnD? Join a one-shot DnD (Dungeons and Dragons) adventure—you might even end up liking it.
If he’s into video games, you’re in luck, because it doesn’t take as much effort as many other hobbies and pastimes. Schedule a game night and pick out a few games you think you might like, and a couple more he enjoys playing. Even if it’s something as simple as Mario Kart, it’s better than nothing.
Whatever his hobbies are, know that you may not find it easy to get into, especially if you’re into completely different things. But just think about his beaming face and how happy he’ll be when you start showing interest in the things he does. It’ll be all worth it.
A for Adorable, B for Beautiful, and So On
Don’t underestimate the power of words. Sometimes, all it takes to spoil your man is to compliment him. In this busy—and let’s be honest, trying—life, there’s nothing like a few words of encouragement to help someone keep their chin up.
Keep your compliments genuine, though. If you start spouting empty flattery, it might not be received positively by your partner, even if you mean well. Try to find things you appreciate about him, not just his looks, but also how he acts. These heartfelt compliments will boost his motivation and help him feel better about himself.
You can also encourage him further by celebrating his achievements with him. Personal goals, career advancements, and other milestones are some of the things that call for a party.
What’s Cooking, Good Looking?
Home-cooked dishes are one of the best ways you can welcome your man home. Take that up a notch by making his favorite meal.
This might not be possible with your current culinary skill (or lack of it). If that’s the case, you might want to avoid making overly complex recipes for now. Take things slowly so you don’t end up burning the food—or the entire kitchen—down.
No one said you had to do it alone, though. You could do it together. Of course, you lose the element of surprise, but it can be a very fun and rewarding experience. In fact, according to a survey, cooking is one of the top activities for strengthening a couple’s relationship.
Surprise Him With Treats and Gifts
There doesn’t need to be a special occasion for you to do this, and you don’t need to get him something expensive each time. Treats like candies and chocolates, as well as basic necessities like a new pair of socks, would be more than good enough.
You can also get him that one thing (or two!) he’s been talking about getting for himself, but just hasn’t been able to. Another idea is to get him something related to his hobby—like video games, workout clothes, fishing lures, or even a beer brewing kit.
Before you add anything to your shopping cart, however, you have to make sure that it’s something he will at least appreciate, and not something you decided to get just because you thought it was cool. Bad gifts can hurt relationships according to research, so if you’re unsure what to get, it’s better to ask him what he wants.
Little Spoon, Big Spoon
Sometimes, a bit of physical pampering is what your man needs to feel loved. When you’re winding down in bed at the end of the day, be the big spoon and cuddle him—see if he likes it. A lot of men enjoy being the little spoon for a variety of reasons: It’s comforting, it feels great to be the recipient of affection, or they simply love the absence of hair in their face.
Also, comfort touching, like hugging and cuddling, has many benefits. It relaxes you and induces the body to release happy hormones, such as oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. Besides cheering someone up, those hormones also boost your immune system and reduce stress—truly the perfect way to end an incredibly tiring day.
Taking the Back Seat in Date/Trip Planning
If you’re usually the one who plans your dates and trips with your man, you should let him do the planning on occasion. You may not like it 100%, but if your goal is to spoil him, it shouldn’t matter where you go or what you do. By allowing him to decide what you guys will be doing, you’re letting him know that you care about what he wants, too.
This doesn’t mean you have to leave all the planning to your man, however. Once he’s decided on the where, when, and what, you can take care of the small details or things you care more about, such as a clear schedule of everything you’re doing that day, or where to have dinner.
Plan Your Anniversary Together
It’s common for one partner to take the lead on anniversary surprises. If your partner is usually the one to plan anniversary celebrations, they might enjoy being the one to be surprised this year! If you want to surprise him though, you might want to tell him ahead of time that you have something planned so he doesn’t go and plan something for that day, too. You don’t want your plans to clash with each other.
You know what could be better than surprising your significant other on your anniversary? Making plans together. By doing this, you’ll be able to include activities you both enjoy. And like they say, two heads are better than one. Just imagine all the possibilities you could create together.
If you do it this way every year, you’ll never have to worry about getting upset about one of you forgetting your anniversary and the other feeling terrible about it. It’s a win-win!
Spoil Him Rotten
When it comes to learning how to spoil your man, what’s important is knowing what he wants, and doing your best to give him exactly that. Sometimes you’ll get it right, and sometimes you won’t. And that’s okay. As long as you keep trying, he’ll surely appreciate the things you do for him, and love you even more for that.